Thank goodness that nothing in life is static.
If you’re thinking, wait a minute, what about rocks, how they’re just there, think. The weather and nature keep them in constant change. Don’t believe me? Go out to your yard or a park and check out that rock you see every day. Check to see if there isn’t some dirt, or moss, or an insect crawling across the surface, that wasn’t there yesterday.
That’s my point here.
I don’t believe people (okay, me) are meant to just stay in one place, wed to one way of life or vocation and that is why, after fourteen years of service, I will no longer serve in a parish. My current health and events played a role in the decision, but to speak truthfully, the joy and excitement of serving in the liturgy went away a while ago and service became as tedious and automatic as the morning commute. The flame was burning down and I was burning out.
The epiphany came as I walked to the office from the train one morning. I was drawn to the people around me – fellow commuters, homeless people camped out on Market Street, people going about their business, tourists. Glances became observation and soon the words of scripture started to come to mind. From these words came meditation and contemplation and a new life force.
In the middle of a busy, noisy, city, I am called to be an Urban Anchoress – to be still and contemplate the Word while working at a secular job, while living out my vocation as a deacon (that is to serve Christ and the people of God out in the world) walled up in a virtual anchorhold where I discover the mystery of God in Christ, the Spirit, all of Creation, and continue to discern what it is I’m being called to do.
Perhaps the peace which passes all understanding will wash over me and I will kindle a new fire.